sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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