ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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