Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
