Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
