Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize