I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize