i just wanna soil my oats bro
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
