so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
