I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
