You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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