I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
