I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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