I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Farmville is her only friend.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
