Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
