Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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