Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
