My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
