I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
