I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
