i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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