i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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