I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
