Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize