you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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