well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
