Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Green mimosas i think yes
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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