rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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