but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
