he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
