well you can't waste a boner
My balls are so social today.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
