Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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