So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
