also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
