I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
