No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
