I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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