he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
