Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize