We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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