Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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