I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
