you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
