Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
