do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
