Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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