New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
