We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
