oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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