So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We have started to decorate penises.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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