Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
