i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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