A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
