and you said cock pushups were impossible
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
