no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
