Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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